As a psychotherapist who sees a fair amount of children and young people, I’m approached frequently by parents and teachers with questions around how to best offer support for stress and anxiety around end of year exams. The pressure to perform well and achieve high grades can often lead to an all-or-nothing approach to studying, with students feeling the need to go to extremes from sacrificing important aspects of their well-being to focus on their work to complete avoidance. In this blog post, I’ll provide some tips for supporting a balanced and healthy approach to exam prep.
- Help set realistic expectations: It’s a competitive world out there, and we all want our children to reach their highest potential. However, it’s so important that we avoid putting undue pressure on them to achieve ‘perfection.’ Rather, encourage setting achievable goals that align with their capabilities as well as with over all well-being.
- Practice effective time management: Study schedules only work when we stick to them. Sit together and create one that allows for regular breaks, exercise and enjoyment in whatever form that may be found for the individual. Help prioritise the most important areas for revision and break them down into smaller more manageable parts. Discourage pulling ‘all-nighters’ and cramming, as we know that this negatively impacts mental and physical health.
- Avoid comparisons:Remember how you got through your own exam periods, or how their siblings navigated them with flying colours? Not necessarily helpful here to a young person who is already likely comparing themselves to their peers. Any comparisons favorable or negative lead to increased stress, if not feelings of inadequacy. Remember that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on their individual process and improvements. Celebrate efforts and commitment as well as achievements
- Diversify sources of self-worth:When something as important as end of year exams comes up it’s easy for attention to narrow to the extent that we over-identify with it as a sole measure of our self-worth. Remind them that their value as a person is not determined by their exam performance. Highlight other important areas of who they are, such as their character, values, beliefs and relationships. Academic achievement is important, but so is having a well-rounded sense of self.
- Ask for support:As with most things, it helps to talk. Remind them it’s okay to ask for help when needed, whether that be from teachers, parents or a mental health professional. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for exam stress or anxiety can provide skills and simple techniques that can help one avoid getting caught up in negative thoughts or worries about the future
Remember it’s totally normal and even healthy and desirable to feel some stress during exam times, it keeps the fire going! With the correct management performance will be enhanced. Embrace a balanced approach to the work and don’t forget to prioritise wholistic well-being during the exam preparation process.
Your Therapist's Notebook 